Stimulant Withdrawals in Mexico: A personal anecdote of helplessness

I've been off and on prescription stimulants for about two years now. In reality, I've been using stimulants since I was 3 years old. It all started with Super Mario World on the Super Nintendo. It's not a terrible thing that my brain loves stimulation - it's helped me excel in school and given me the ability to learn new skills with ease. I taught myself computer programming after graduating college and have since been involved in numerous startups and am now supplementing my income with web development consulting.

This morning, I find myself in a little Papelería in Guadalajara, Mexico working on my laptop. Right now, I'm in a phase of wanting to phase out of stimulant use. So after reducing dosage for a few days, I thought I'd try and go without any this morning. Maybe just a cup of coffee. But I got in this morning, and the coffee wasn't ready. Then I find out a seller on Ebay hasn't issued me a full refund. Digging through Ebay to figure out how to message the seller ends up taking 30 frustrating minutes. And with my mind and body withdrawing from their usual stimulant dosage, those 30 minutes felt like this:

Spinning circles. What am I doing? Why isn't there an easy way to just message the goddamn seller? What the hell Ebay? Oh, here's a link: "Was this section helpful?" ....No! Wait, that was only feedback for Ebay? I am still stuck! And I am in the middle of Mexico, with a bunch of people around me speaking Spanish and asking me questions and I can't even figure out what's going on in written English on this website! And I am nauseous due to the super rich diet I've switched to since coming to Mexico three days ago. And dehydrated due to the crazy amount of salt I've been consuming. Where's my backpack? I don't care, I'm taking a dextrostat this morning. F it!

And 30 minutes later, I am as calm as a Buddhist monk. No longer helpless, but completely capable of speaking Spanish while resolving my digital issues. Just like that. One little peach pill down the hatch and I am back on my game. 

A Real-Life Pensieve: How writing a letter leads to personal discovery

Write a letter to anyone. Your parents, a friend, yourself! Writing your thoughts in an honest letter helps you make sense of your life. It causes you to reflect on your surroundings, on your recent decisions, on your state of happiness! And the recipient of your letter will certainly be thrilled to hear from you. Who doesn't like getting mail?

Not sure to whom you should write? Send me a letter and I'll send you one back!

Noah Jeffrey
PO Box 12058
Jackson, WY 83002

It doesn't matter who you are, or who I am. We will both benefit greatly from the exchange! By reading another person's thoughts, we glimpse the world from a different perspective. We can get this same experience from reading books and talking with people, but there are few occasions more intimate than a personal letter.

It is easy to be sincere when you're sitting comfortably at your writing desk, a cup of hot coffee fueling your thoughts. Your inhibitions and fears melt away while your honest thoughts of the world flow through your hand and onto the paper. It is an enlightening experience even for yourself - you may discover thoughts that have lingered in the back of your mind for months. Maybe years (if you haven't written a letter lately)!

Sit down to write with no agenda, no purpose other than to place your thoughts on paper, and you will make grand discoveries about yourself. It is like a real-life Pensieve (nerdy Harry Potter reference)!

"One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin [onto the page], and examines them at one's leisure. It becomes easier to spot patterns and links, you understand, when they are in this form."

Now that you've examined my thoughts, it is time to examine your own! Go enjoy the wonderfully simple and absolutely enlightening experience of writing a letter. And if you feel like it, share your experience in the comments below! Your recommendation will surely encourage others to partake in this eye-opening exercise.

What did you discover about yourself while writing a letter?

How to Read Better Books

In your lifetime, you will read about 1000 books. The average American reads 17 books per year, according to a study titled "The rise of e-reading" conducted in 2012. As our life expectancy climbs to nearly 80 years, we can roughly expect to read 1000 books in our days here.

There are about 100,000 books written every month. Amazon Books lists 112,119 new releases in the last 30 days, with 54,277 more books "coming soon". With a nearly infinite number of pieces to choose from, how do we cherry pick only the best of the best of the best?

Goodreads will filter mediocre books out of your life. Goodreads is a website that consolidates peer reviews of nearly every book written and helps you "meet your next favorite book".

Set a high bar for books you will consider. Goodreads uses a 5 star scale to rate books. By setting a high threshold (personally - 3.8 or greater), you can spend less time contemplating mediocre reads and more time reading really great books.

Use the Goodreads mobile app to check ratings on the fly. Goodreads' iPhone app helped me snag Life of Pi (3.85) from a packed bookshelf in my friend's Alaskan cabin. I avoided my father's fervent recommendations to read Swamplandia! (3.18). And I no longer waste money on questionable titles at Ferguson Books (local bookstore)! My reading list has never been so clean.

Changing, Always, Everything

"Decay is inherent in all things; therefore, strive with clarity of mind."

-Buddha 

Wake Your Commanding Master

Keep your hand firmly upon the helm of thought. In the bark of your soul reclines the commanding Master; He does but sleep: wake Him. Self-control is strength; Right Thought is mastery; Calmness is power. Say unto your heart, "Peace, be still!"

From James Allen's As a Man Thinketh 

The straight path

How direct is your path to your ultimate goal? Are doubts and fears adding unnecessary detours to your journey?

“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.

Having conceived of his purpose, a man should mentally mark out a straight pathway to its achievement, looking neither to the right nor the left. Doubts and fears should be rigorously excluded; they are disintegrating elements, which break up the straight line of effort, rendering it crooked, ineffectual, useless.”

Excerpt From: Allen, James. “As a Man Thinketh.”

The search begins

Diagnosed ADD back in spring 2012, I've recently been questioning my "lack of attention". Taking stimulants allows me to sit on a computer and work all day, but maybe there is a reason my mind doesn't naturally enjoy this activity (at least not for more than a couple hours).

For the last two months I have been working for a startup in Cincinnati called Frameri. I was strongly considering going back on stimulants full time because I could not focus on the project. Then I read a wonderful book called The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. It taught me how to set aside my fears and listen to my heart. 

My heart is telling me to travel. I am leaving Frameri on Friday, and though I am sad to leave the team (I have come to love Kevin and Konrad like brothers), it feels like the absolute right thing to do. And luckily the team agrees and is now supporting my decision 100%. 

This blog is an ongoing search for enlightenment and a message to anyone else feeling anxious or depressed with their current life to set aside their fear for a moment and listen to their hearts. If you're unsure how, read The Alchemist. 

And always feel free to ask me questions. I will respond to every single email. Reach me at Noah.j.jeffrey@gmail.com